A Beautiful Couple

My cousin, Evelyn, in traditional and western dress on her wedding day. To me she is the most beautiful bride ever. I remember the first time I met her in NYC so many years ago. I envied her beauty, height and grace. And now, even though we haven't seen each other or kept in touch for many years, I love her.

My Mother, Myself

Here we are, at the Bronx Zoo, mother and daughter. We could very well have been Amy Tan and her mother, Daisy. Although our relationship wasn't quite as stormy, my sister recalls that I was always fighting mother. She was tired just watching us and lacked the energy to follow in my footsteps. I spent most of today reading The Opposite of Fate. I felt as if I was reading my own thoughts!

The Joy Luck Club

Mah Jong, anyone? Sometimes it is hard to look at old photographs, to see how young everyone is, and to feel the old memories. But sometimes it is necessary to look back before we can move forward. And so, I am glancing back cautiously, afraid of what I will feel. Perhaps someday, I will learn to write like Amy Tan and unburden myself in a book of musings and family secrets.

Best Friends

My mother and her best friend, I don't know at what age. My mother is on the right. Here she looks alot like my niece, Jennifer, or vice versa. Aren't pictures precious? They tell us so much about where we come from.

Friends

Friends are precious and none sweeter than the ones from our youth. These are friends and classmates of my mother. The date on the back is 1949, July llth, I think. My mother had been married off already.

Two Sisters

One of my favourite pictures of my mother and aunt. I think it was taken the year my grandmother died. Though they live far apart, they talk often on the telephone.

No Baby Pictures

Fortunately(or unfortunately)for me, I have no baby pictures. I think these are the youngest I have of me, with my mother, grandmother and my uncle.


Below, I am with my grandmother, her sisters-in-law, a cousin and my uncle.

My Parents

Sometimes it is very hard to think of your parents as ever being young. But here they are, age 17! With them is my grandfather and Uncle James. I think my grandmother is not in the picture because she is pregnant with my youngest uncle. There is a superstition that being photographed might cause a miscarriage. My parents' marriage was arranged through a matchmaker. There was a research of both families to see if there was any bad genes, etc. My mother was carried to my father's village in a wooden sedan. She wore the traditional red wedding gown with a headdress. She said it was very heavy and she got a headache from it. Too bad that there was no little Kodaks back then.

Our House

Like the song says, our house is the best house. That's the way I think of our house in China. It is the house that I was born in, and I will always feel ties to it. I cannot remember too much at all about how it looks inside. But it is a two-family house. We lived in it along with my grandfather's No. 7 brother's family. I remember playing on the roof, and even going up to the very top of the pergoda. It was there that I first experienced the presence of our deceased ancestors. I remember telling my mother about these people that I couldn't quite 'see'. And she tells me not to be afraid because they were our family and they will protect me. Our house is still there today, in our village whose name literally means mountain top, in the region called Taisan, near the town of Dousan. (see my link for Taisan)

My Paternal Grandparents

My paternal grandparents are seen here with their youngest son, my uncle, Richard. He is a year older than me. My grandfather was known for his kindness and generosity. He would help anybody he could. Like most Chinese, he likes to gamble. He was a smoker and died from emphysema in his early 70's. He and his No. 2 brother ran a laundry in N. Battleford, Sask. for many years. He fathered three sons on his trips back to his homeland, China. Immigrants of his generation had a very hard life. They worked long hard hours, saving their money to send back to their families. My grandmother was known for her temper and thriftiness. I guess opposites do attract, even if the marriage was arranged! She was very traditional in her attitudes, in that she did not like girls. It was just as well that she had three sons. My grandparents lived many years apart in different countries, with only occasional visits home from my grandfather. They were united in 1957 when my grandmother and my 2 uncles immigranted to Canada.

My maternal grandparents

My grandfather was a teacher. He was very strict, but he was honest, kind and a good teacher. Because he was involved in village politics and such, he was a target for envy and maliciousness. He was a target during Maoist time and had he not been warned by friends, he would have been killed. He escaped to Hong Kong. And because of that, they arrested my grandmother instead. She was put in jail. They made her kneel on gravel and threw pails of water over her. People could come and throw insults at her. She was beaten and survived by the grace of heaven. Her sufferings are forever etched in her children's memory and on her face. Someday I would like to write my grandparents' life stories.

My mother's family

They live in New York. The picture was taken at the cemetery where their parents are buried. My mother is third from the right.